The water was colder than he would have liked, but given what he was about to do, he supposed it didn’t matter. Tightening the rope around his ankle and then the stone that drag him beneath, he sighed. The demon in him was far too strong it seemed.
He waded out into water, and dropped the rock over the sheer drop of the river bank. He stepped out into the open water, allowing the rock to drag him beneath. Water closed in over his head and he let out a shocked breath.
His last.
He knew this wasn’t going to be easy or peaceful. He’d nearly drowned when he was seven and the feeling of the water burning his lungs as they filled still haunted him. But he felt like maybe, just maybe, whatever was haunting him had lived in the river and attached itself to him when he escaped.
He could only fight it so long before he tried taking a breath, and water filled his lungs and darkness finally took him. The last thing he felt though, was a much stronger force pulling him towards the surface…
*******
“He’ll be fine. I told you he wasn’t going to die today.” a male said.
a Female sighed, “I know but… Father why did he do this?”
“You know why.”
“I told him i cared!”
“He thought you’d move on.”
“An amputee can move on after losing a limb; doesn’t mean it’s easy or painless! I swear I’m going to skin him when he wakes up.” the female sniffed and started sobbing. The sound became muffled and the male comforted her.
“Shh. It’s okay.”
Shit he thought.
Kyle opened his eyes, grateful the Judge of the Dead had dimmed the lights in the room. Sitting up, his head swam and he dropped to an elbow.
“Sounds like he’s awake,” the male said, “try to be gentle with him. Those demons have his convinced they always speak the truth.”
Kyle glanced up as Hathor, the Judge’s Daughter, stepped into the room. The Jackaless was tall and slender, built for running and sprinting, and wore the familiar gold and white clothing of her station as the daughter of a God. Her eyes were red and tear stains ran down her face, she sniffed again and glared at him, in a similar manner to what his mother did when he’d scared the every loving shit of her.
Well… starting to wonder about that truth thing… he thought.
She walked towards the bedding area, and sat down on a pillow beside him, her face turned away from him.
“Ha-”
She turned on him, “My father dragged you out of the river, half-dead. He spent seven hours bringing you back again and again. I never left and yes, your parents were there too. They went to the guest rooms to sleep after you were stabilized.”
Bitter tears rolled down her face, “So whatever you have to say, it had better be good.”
Kyle stared at her for a long time before laying back down, “I told you. It won’t let me alone.”
“And i told you we’d help you!”
Kyle rolled over, “Like i want you wasting your time on–”
Hathor leapt over his form and landed on all fours, her face inches from his, the pain and raw rage in her eyes silencing him,
“On someone we love? That’s better be what you were going to say.” She was a moment away from bursting into tears or busting his ass over her knee.
Kyle averted his gaze, “I don’t want to drag you down with me.”
“You would have anyway. Part of us would have gone with you when you died. You wouldn’t be sparing us pain, you’d just be causing us more.” She whispered.
Kyle kept his eyes down, even as she pulled back the blankets and slid in beside him, “Well, what other excuses do they have for you?” she said.
Worthless little bastard… it whispered.
“I’m worthless…” he said.
“Not to us, and since your not worthless to us, you have worth, which makes that a lie.” Hathor whispered.
… Failure… it whispered.
“I’m a failure…” he said.
“So? You can’t lose all the time, Kyle, it’s statistically impossible and in practice, doesn’t happen either.” Hathor said.
…They don’t love you… it whispered, its voice lower than before.
Kyle blinked, “You… you do love me, don’t you?”
Hathor nodded, smiling through tears, “Yes. And no matter what, i will find a counter to every one of it’s insidious comments. Take it from someone who has one of those too: it’s only strong when you give it an inch.”
…you need me… it whispered, barely audible.
Kyle laid his head down, “… I’m sorry.”
Hathor smiled and kissed his forehead, “I forgive you, as long as you don’t do it again.”
He looked up at her, “I… if you still want to help me, i would greatly appreciate it.”
She laughed, “Silly, i love you. Of course i still want to help you. I’ll even stay with you if you want me to.”
“I’d like that.” Kyle whispered.
As Hathor snuggled against him, a single, tiny thought popped into his head, I need them more than i need you asshole.
************
Little bit of venting tonight.
@zarcake-writes @karanthos @terato-imagines @momolady @inumorph @howtobangyourmonster
MonstersinBlackSilk 